My Kohn Lao Story

It took over two decades of my life to finally start my identity journey by getting familiar with my culture and figuring out who I am. Growing up, little to no one knew what being Lao meant- I was always bombarded with, “Are you Chinese or Japanese?” and by the time I got to high school it became, “Are you Korean, Hmong, or Filipino?”: I felt very unseen, individually and as a member of the Lao community.

My parents had kept a lot of information about our culture and language away from me. They waited for signs of my interest to start teaching me, and that started for me in late 2019 to early 2020. I started to practice Lao with my mother and my dad would explain our ceremonies to me and teach me Lao songs after I got off work. It was from here I took to social media through my blog ‘Just Saeng” and platforms like Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok to extend to my AANHPI community and Lao community. I made many new friends and supporters, and it boosted my confidence to teach about Laos, our culture, and the parts that make us so alike and so different in the best ways.

With how the world is, we grow up meshing all we can learn about any other Asian ethnic group, and it progresses to a confused identity as adults unsure of who we are. I could go on for hours about how I could explain Lunar New Year and the red envelope's significance, or that I loved K-pop so I learned conversational Korean and understood it through the ear, or that I am an anime fan and studied Japanese manners and their tea ceremonies to understand plots in animes/mangas. While it is an accomplishment to have such a variety, being mistaken for any of these ethnicities and knowing so much of their culture had me feeling lost in my Lao identity…

I want those in my community to see my work, read my words, and be inspired. I want to help those who find their Lao identity, so at any moment they self-doubt or feel hesitant, I can reassure them how they’re feeling is valid and that they are not alone. I want to inspire people to look into traditions they have in their ethnic groups that other groups may share with them, notice the similarities we have with each other (while recognizing it may be due to similar historical timelines), and see we are all not as different as the world made us feel. I want my work to frame around coming together to appreciate our cultures separately for what they are and honor our own with the same kindness. I believe we can conquer diversity through empathy and compassion over any adversities we face. No obstacle is too large for us if we come together.

If you ever get curious about your heritage, never be afraid to ask and get answers: and never be afraid to teach and share that with the world. I cannot say this enough to anyone going through an identity journey: Be proud of where you come from in all aspects, it is still a part of your identity and you deserve to love it just as much as any other part of you. There is no hide or feel ashamed of where you came from. Learning about these pieces of ourselves helps guide a better understanding of those who raised us, and put into perspective how much our immigrant/refugee parents went through.

I’ve been able to walk into so many great opportunities with my Lao communities by sharing Lao history, war stories, and refugee/immigrant experiences that bring us together in ways words cannot begin to explain. I hope to guide my peers with my work to take the steps to help us fight against discrimination. I encourage open conversations and guidance to our youth, to help them overcome obstacles we had to fight through alone.

Be proud of where you come from in all aspects, it is still a part of your identity and you deserve to love it just as much as any other part of you. There is no such thing as being too much or being too proud of where you came from.

I want my audience to understand any trauma they’ve endured doesn’t make them weak or less of a person, we are here to break generational cycles our parents tried to demolish. I want to be a representative of my Lao community and a voice for our AANHPI community, one post, share, and story at a time.