Attending a Lao Buddhist Funeral

As years have passed the revelation of Lao Buddhist Funerals has become more and more eye-opening and detailed the more time that progresses. From the ages of 14 and onward, families can swear in to guide their passed loved ones onto their path beyond. Little do many know, Lao Buddhist Funerals are 7 days long, and depending on needs, the Temple, and monks can be shortened as needed.

What does the Funeral Consist of?

Timeline

Laotians believe in reincarnation, and that the spirits in the scattered cremated remains will rise to heaven. Before cremation, the family will wash their loved ones in a bathing ceremony, keeping them at home for one to three days before the funeral.

The first three through five days consist of the immediate family prepping food for their loved ones and the monks. Friends are allowed to come and offer condolences as well as pray with the family in honor of the one who has passed. This can be done as their schedule provides or for all days, it is not a requirement, but the presence is appreciated. On the sixth day or the day following the prayers- family and friends will gather at the mortuary to hold services at the final send-off for the deceased. The immediate family will swear in as Monks or Nuns to offer full guidance to the deceased in their descent to their next life/journey. After cremation, the entire party for the funeral will wash their hands in blessed water to cleanse them of their actions of guiding the dead, and return to pray out of their Monk and Nun duties. Once completed, everyone gathers to eat and give thanks to all who arrived at the service and worked with the family to have the funeral go smoothly. The following day they will gather once more in traditional clothing for their last prayer and hold Thak Baht to give thanks to the Temple and Monks for their services. There is usually a follow-up memorial service 100 days after the death, and/or again on the 1st anniversary of the death that is arranged by the family.

Yat Nam (Water Blessing)

Throughout the funeral services, three days prior, and the day after, known as Thak Baht (giving alms) family and community will recite scripture. Also known as chanting, the monks will lead and the remaining guests will follow, proceeding to Yat Nam ( blessed water), pouring the blessings as scripture is recited to allow the best of intentions of those giving blessings. Pouring the water in the rhythm of the prayer and keeping a steady flow. You will pour the water until it is gone or the prayer is over, from there they will exit the Temple and pour the water onto the roots of a tree. Before pouring the water out you can tap the ground three times to signify your next action to the universe, lift the bowl of blessed water to your forehead and think of kind intentions or e blessings to give to the occasion for Yat Nam, then pour onto the tree or plant's roots until all the water is gone.

Thak Baht (Giving Alms)

Giving alms or the practice of giving offerings to monks trails back to Laos and Thailand, and unfortunate dying tradition due to tourism... At Temples, Thak Baht is done for ceremonies, holidays, and special events. For funerals it is done the day or nearest day after the funeral service, it serves as a 'thank you' to the monks for taking the family impacted's request to provide funeral services for the 7 days.

It's not that non-Buddhist people aren't welcome to see or participate - they are free to do so, but only with the correct actions and intentions in place.

• Don't treat the ritual as a photo-op: Be there to give honestly and humbly. If you can't do that, keep a respectful distance and don't disrupt the participants - and if you can't do even that, don't be there. (photos and videos are asked for beforehand out of respect to those involved)

• Keep a respectful distance: Stay out of the way of either the monks or almsgivers.

• Dress properly: Keep your shoulders, torso, and legs covered. This is doubly important if you plan to participate in the almsgiving. Take off your shoes if you're giving alms.

• Don't use your camera flash: It breaks the monks' concentration and detracts from the solemnity of the ritual.

• Pay attention: Don't position yourself so your head is higher than the monks' heads.

The following tips apply specifically if you're participating in the tak bat ceremony:

• Don't buy food from street vendors nearby; if you have to participate, make rice yourself (or have your hotel, family, friends, or temple community prepare you some rice).

• Do not make eye contact with the monks.

• Do not touch the monks. Withdraw your hands immediately after placing your offering in the bowl.

• Do bow before the monks to show your respect.

Clothing for Thak Baht

Men wear:

Neat pants like blue denim, slacks, or khakis.

Dress Shirt

Lao/Thai Silk Shirt

Pa Biang, Lao Scarf/Sash

Women wear:

Sinh, a traditional silk skirt

A lace blouse or Lao silk top

Pa Biang, Lao Scarf/Sash

What does everything mean?

Money/Condolence Wreaths

Condolence wreaths go one of two ways, those of direct family are offered to the one who has passed as they are created as a form of providing them funds wherever their souls may reside in the afterlife. It can also be given to monks or the Temple as a thank you for all the services they've offered to the family involved.

The family folds paper money into triangles and affixes it to the wreaths. This is for the temple monks. At the end of the ceremony, there's a wreath for each monk as alms, or an offering to the monks, thanking them for their participation in the journey of the loved one from this life into the next life.

Boun

Swearing in as a family member actively working to provide the Funeral service is 'Boun'. This action is viewed with high honor and is held as a high priority when there is a loss. These members that boun (swear in) are making sacrifices to provide a smooth transition to where the deceased may go, and assure there are no blockages that would keep their loved one from ascending.

Money Trees

The money tree here is called 'Tonh Ga La Pirk', this would give friends and families the opportunity to Tum Boun (merit making) with the host families, offering their money by hanging it on the tree, this tree is obviously watered with Nom Jai, water that came from the heart (Jai).

Blessing Strings

At the end of the services, Monks and family members can receive and give Blessing strings to one another. This can be done as 'giving thanks', wishing good fortune, and or offering acknowledgment of their deeds. All Ajahn and Mae Khao receive blessing strings from the Monks of the Temple and will proceed to get them from any elders. From here one can roll up bills as lucky money as they bestow good intentions onto others by giving strings.

What do I do as a guest?

Guests can attend any day at the Temple to recite scripture and offer the family condolences, as well as show on the Funeral Service as they perform their rituals for the deceased. Guests are to wear all black, and if attending the Temple wear a Pa Biang (traditional sash). Guests will participate in final blessings before cremation where candles and flowers are offered to the deceased with last blessings before moving on into their next life. They will follow in the celebratory life parade where blessed coins are tossed to the guests and the monks and nuns guide the casket to cremation. Afterward they too will wash their hands with blessed water to purify their actions before leaving.

What do I do as an Immediate Family Member?

Ajahn (Monks)

Immediate family who identify as men are allowed to volunteer to join in the ceremony of life by swearing in (boun) for the funeral service of the deceased. The only time it is not voluntary is if you are the son or husband of the one who has passed. The remainder of the male family members will join as they wish.

As they must follow Buddhist rule and be in their most natural state, they are to shave their heads and eyebrows. Recite scripture and dress in the monk's provided robes for the day of the funeral service. They will follow the rules of Monks and cannot look, interact, physically touch, or speak to the opposite sex, including the Mae Khao (white ladies). They fast from the moment they swear in and will eat once sworn out at the end of the cremation ceremony.

Mae Khao aka White Ladies (Nuns)

Immediate family who identify as women are also allowed to volunteer to join the ceremony of life, the only time this is not volunteered is if you are the daughter or wife of the deceased. The remaining female family has the choice to swear in (boun) as Mae Khao, which translates to "White Lady". They will follow the rules of Nuns and cannot look, interact, physically touch, or speak to the opposite sex, including the Ajahn (monks). All will be in their most natural stat as possible which means no makeup, nailpolish, jewelry, and wearing all white garments. They will also fast from the moment they swear in and will eat after all services are over and pray to swear out.

Death Superstitions

Laotians have several superstitions surrounding death and the deceased, including:

• Not killing any animals for meals during the funeral time.

• Not taking home any food from the funeral.

• Avoiding making noodle dishes until after the funeral. They consider noodles as strings that could tie the deceased to their former life instead of moving on.

• Besides the music and rituals associated with the funeral service, not playing music, singing, or dancing during the funeral.

• Washing their hands with blessed water before leaving the funeral home and entering their home.

Not every family will believe in the superstitions and it is followed as told to be followed by the direct family members organizing the funeral.